Nalo's Backstory
On January 2nd 2023 I found out I was pregnant for the second time, I was so happy but I was also very nervous due to me been severely sick the whole way through pregnancy with my first.
The first 14 weeks was awful, the sickness struck again, only this time it eventually went away which prompted me into thinking im having a boy, a dream come true!
This time I was loving been pregnant, I actually got the pregnancy glow, Jordan and myself had a gender scan at 16 weeks.. Just like I thought, he was boy!
Jordan was over the moon, he finally was going to have a mini him, everything was going perfect until I had a scan at 32 weeks, they told me he was growing small and I would have to have follow up scans every 2 weeks to see his growth and additional appointments to check my placenta and blood flow etc.
The blood flow scans ended up been pretty much every other day but they wasnt to concerned. I was told if the growing doesn’t improve I would have to be induced. I got to 36 weeks when i went for my final scan, it was on a Wednesday, they told me im getting induced on the Saturday which made me 37 weeks exact.
Saturday came and I was completely overwhelmed, nervous but SO SO excited. I ended up having three pessaries to which none of them worked, they had to break my waters and place me on a hormonal drip (horrific) things got insense real fast. I was finding it hard to cope on the drip but refused pain relief, it become unbearable so I begged them for a c-section and they refused, I ended up having the epidural and wow! Things were going okay after that but Nalo started showing signs of distress, the monitor wasnt picking much up from him.
A nurse came in and explained we may have to opt for a c-section if things do not pick up in the next 20 minutes, she went to leave the room but as she got to the door she turned around and said “can I examine you” I agreed, she then told me I was fully dilated and it was time to push, I cried happy tears because what seemed like a life time of worry I was finally getting my happy ending
I had one hour to birth Nalo before they had to interfere, it got to 55 minutes and they told me I had 5 minutes left to try and push him out.. I used every bit of strength and energy I had left and I did it! At 22.05pm on August 21st 2023 a king was born.
Jordan and I were completely in Awe, he was perfect with a head full of hair, so tiny and precious, I was on cloud 9! My Life was complete.
Tuesday morning, we went home, Nalo was at home until Friday, when he started crying uncontrollably, he was refusing his milk and around 7pm I decided I needed to call 111. I explained his symptoms and they sent a ambulance to our home.
The ambulance arrived, done a few basic checks and everything was fine but because of his age they took him in, we got to the hospital where Nalo was on the monitor, again everything appeared fine until around 11pm, A doctor come and checked his heart with a stethoscope and told us his heart was beating fast and that he was going to get someone else to come and look at it. We waited hours and then randomly we got moved from a cubicle to a ward. Initially we were told Nalo had a heart murmur (after a scan it was confirmed he didn’t) hours had passed and it became quite clear something wasn’t right so the doctor ran some blood tests, his infection level came back really high so she started him with some broad antibiotics.
This is when things went from bad to worse. I could clearly see Nalo was in pain, crying hysterically. This went on for hours, until around 7am in the morning, we were all running on no sleep, blood tests done every hour and each time they were getting worse.
Nalo became really unstable and I’ll never forget the questions the nurse asked me.
“Have you had any miscarriages or early infant deaths in your family?”
Alarm bells started ringing and I asked her if there was a chance he wasnt going to make it, she couldn’t say a direct answer.
The last option was for the NICU from the childrens hospital to come and transfer Nalo so he could receive the best care, they arrived and prepared everything for him to move, this took hours and we sat in a waiting room while they sedated him ready for us to go.
I remember saying to Jordan “what if he doesn’t wake up?” My gut instinct had a horrible feeling, when we eventually left city hospital we were blue lighted in a critical care ambulance, when we arrived I was leaving the ambulance, I turned around and looked over at the pod Nalo was laying in, he was just looking at me asif to say “I cant take much more, mum help” he was meant to be sedated and that image will never leave my head, I asked the doctors why he was awake and they told me he wasn’t suppose to be, they sedated him again and he went back to sleep, that was the final time I saw my baby awake.
Its now Saturday afternoon at this point, Nalo was in an induced coma fighting for his life, everything was happening so fast, how can you go from not drinking a bottle and no other signs of illness to fighting for your life within the space of around 15 hours?
He was receiving round the clock care, A blood test had come back confirming that he had sepsis, they continued treatment throughout the day and by the evening his eyes were all swollen. I was finding it extremely difficult to process all of this and look at him, they kept checking his eye, there was no reflex in his left eye so they did an ultrasound scan next to his bed.
Three different doctors came to do this, I could tell straight away something was wrong. He took me to the side and he told me “the findings on Nalo's brain have really shocked us and we are very concerned at this point” this was the very moment I knew I lost my child. I have never pleaded with God so much in my life, how could this be?
The doctor told me that Nalo would be going for a CT scan to confirm a few things, again we were waiting for hours, they placed us in the emergency family room next to the ward to try and get some rest.
When Nalo come back from his scan he looked noticeably different, he had a little blanket covering the top of his head which I removed because it wasnt there before. Nalo's head was visibly damaged, it had started coning.
The CT scan finally came back at around 3am, they took us into a room surrounded by multiple Doctors, I knew what was coming.. they explained Nalos brain was severely swollen and there was absolutely nothing more they could do.
By then I was so tired and emotionally drained, I couldn’t bear to see Nalo go through all this anymore, he was attached to so many wires and machines. I was completely numb, I told them to turn everything off and let him pass in peace instead of artificially keeping him alive.
The doctor explained that it was 4am and there was still a few things that needed to be done, he told me not to rush it and to spend as much time with him as possible because once those machines are off it cant be undone.
I told all my family members to get to the hospital for 8am, I decided to get Nalo baptised surrounded by all my loved ones, we spent some time with Nalo, it got to around 12.40, I told them I was ready now.
I was never ready but it was inevitable and I had to make the choice to let him go in peace after fighting so hard, I could tell his little body was ready to go, they placed him in my arms and unplugged the wires one by one, they got to the last wire which was the ventilator, the nurse gave me the most heart breaking look and unplugged it. Every thing in that room went Silent. I watched him take his last breath and he passed away instantly, I watched his chest stop moving and the colour drain from his lifeless little body. On that day, Sunday August 27th 2023 at 12.44pm my life changed forever.
Apart of me went missing which will never return and as I try to navigate myself through this journey, the grief consumes me everyday, after Nalo had passed they confirmed he had caught a bacterial infection, that lead to sepsis and the both combined attacked his brain.
If love was enough to save Nalo he would of lived forever, but forever would never of been long enough with you. You are missed beyond measures, I hope you rest in eternal peace and I cant wait until we meet again.
Love Mummy, Daddy and Sia xx
